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favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
- Proverbs 31:30 /

i went for medicine essay test today. to think that they almost forgot abt my test and said that i was suppose to join the 10.30 am one (which was for foreigners only btw) but i was telling god, if this door is gg to be close, i wouldnt exactly mind. haha.

and guess what, the qns had nothing to do with medicine at all. the question for the 27th April essay test was roughly "what is one thing you could change in the medical profession?". the question for today's morning essay test was "the 21st century doctor is a complete doctor, what are your views?"and what was mine?

have you witness someone close to you done something seriously wrong? what were your reactions and thoughts towards it? In retrospect,would you have done the same thing and why?

this is so lame.to think that i went to think and read medical articles to prepare myself for this essay test. but alright, i shall thank god that it wasnt hard like the 2nd type of question or i would have died right on the spot (:

next up was the psychometric test. 182 qns. at least it wasnt as bad as the psc one which took much longer! some of the qns inside was so, hmmm, apt. it was suppose to be a true/false kind of statements about myself.

i let little things upset me more than they should
i sometimes feel too responsible for the things around me
i dont let myself get depressed over little things
Sometimes, i feel as if i've done sth wrong, even though i havent
i think about things i shld have said, but didnt
are my emotional needs satisfied?
i usually go to bed at night feeling satisfied with how my day went

this few qns are but a small percentage of the 182, but i think it speaks a lot about the kind of person i am. some were true, some were false. but at the end of the day, as long as i dont continue to dwell in all these, things should be alright.

i read somewhere while preparing for my med essay that, often we have an ego that believes someone else should dance to your tune and that if things dont turn out your way, it's disaster, mayhem, sorrow and pain. But the reality is, love cant be forced. It's either there or it's not. No amount of crying, wishing and feeling pained will make it happen when it's not meant to be. So, accept it, and move on.

im not exactly talking about love, but haha, it applies to whatever im always thinking and hesitating about. so although people have been constantly advicing me to be less sensitive,more assertive and less imaginative, its this passage today that really spoke to me today. i shall learn from this short passage - to let go and let god, no use mulling over (: