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favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
- Proverbs 31:30 /

day out with paiis (: its been a long time since we sat down to catch up with one another. or rather, its just me. haha. time spent with them was little though because i was late and i had to leave at 6 ): so i didnt watch the movie with them. we ate and went arcade to play before they went off for their movie. on a random note, i think i was dressed quite shabbily compared to them because i had no more clothes to wear! just look at the photos! D: and that means 1 thing. i got to work more so that i can spend more on clothes. clothes are not an extravagance, they are a MUST :D






anyway, i was flipping through the book freedy was reading. it is really a very intellectual book. just this paragraph below alone took me a few minutes to digest. but after understanding what its all about, i realise, this is one powerful book written by a very powerful christian. I forgot who he is, but he was the spirtual father of cs lewis. Now, thats something to sit up and read about.

"the real trouble with this world of ours is not that it is an unreasonable world, not even that it is a reasonable one. the commonest kind of trouble is that it is nearly reasonable, but not quite."

do you actually comprehend what this means?


our FIRST cg (: our FIRST service



supper with nettie and kat on tues night was fulfilling (: yet scary. you know, the thing about the future is that its something which we cannot control. we talked about a lot of things but at the end of the day, nothing actually seemed to have concluded. haha. the long walk home with nettie pass shunfu, pass seasons view, pass cat high was nice too. its through these long walks where we actually got to know one another deeper, where we got to really sort out our thoughts with the help of one another. i cant help but to admit that nettie really made me think about what i did in the last few months, whether it was good or bad. and she's the only one whos daring enough to ask me about things i myself am embarrassed or shy to admit about. im sure im going to miss her when she moves on to tertiary. i need someone like her to always remind myself what my actual thoughts are because i dont want to be caught on with the routine and protocols of life that i force myself to neglect these thoughts.

work with shem on wed was fun too! the people at the toy museum were really really really nice! we not only had free entrance to the 5 floors of toys, we even had a treat from the cafe's manager! :D new friends made were lovely too because they made working at the museum much more enjoyable! haha. i will be going down tmr so lets hope they are on shift tmr!

two long but meaningful days (:
well, i was thinking about what nettie said, and maybe. just maybe i realise its actually my fault. my fault that things became what they were today. my fault that i choose to avoid when things were going on fine. and because of my doing, things cannot and will not return back to what they use to be. they didnt, in reality. ): but as time rushes past (its already march 2008 if you realise) , certain memories will be erased and i really hope that this memory will be gone too. probably nothing will happen in the near future or even far future. but just as what i've said, the future is something we have no control over, so i shall just let go and let god :D

but gosh, i just realise. its hard to picture myself even doing that - erasing that part of my memory that is D:


why does that video make my thoughts run wild again? why why why? ): of all things, this bittersweet feeling that strangling my every thought and action isnt helping much because nothing's going to change the fact that this feeling is taking control over what i do and how i react. haha. maybe one day, when i look back, i will realise, i wasnt just chasing after the wind, which at least gives us sth to run towards. i was chasing after nothing. doesnt that make you sound stupid! LOL.


that set me thinking (:
a reality check here, things wont change because i want it to. so there, a new perspective, a new outlook. it always comes to a point whereby you want certain things whereas you wanna let go of the others. its the same now, but i cant change reality. well god, let not my mood dictate my actions because i want to be in for greater things you have in store for me! :DD
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i suddenly feel that i've been so caught up in my own life and happenings that i've lost touch with a lot of people. and i miss them a lot.


have you ever felt like you wanted to m.i.a?


















i hate it when i set out to do sth and i fail myself. terribly. you can say its alright and its okay. but at the end, its really not alright nor okay. this is such a classic example and no, i dont wish to elaborate. let me just keep it to myself and perhaps, disappear. because no one would actually bother, right? and i realise, its mere obligation that keeps me so discontented and to say the least, angry.


hopetots, lunch, pedicure, nus, dinner at my aunt's hse and then step up 2 :D
what limin said was true. that there are times, such as these, where we need to back away from our usual routine and people to relieve ourselves of whatever is happening. and im glad i did! the twist of events that happened today was probably god's way of allowing me to enjoy my day without any particular disturbance (:

well, step up 2 wasnt exactly as awesome as step up 1 although the dance moves were slick and cool. some were really beautiful! but, im not exactly into hip-hop or r&b so i still prefer step up 1. coupled with a love story interwined, step up 1 was definitely more intriguing. :D i was slightly sorry that i had to leave my aunt's bday celebration halfway because i knew i was compromising on the time we set aside to spend time together, but i really wanted to watch step up 2, so i forgo it. i didnt really know if i was being balance, but whatever, its over :)

and lastly, a part of me hasnt exactly gotten over it i know. but when everything and everyone else moves on, you know that you dont really have the time to drag your feet and whine so that someone will notice you. in fact, they are already moving on so fast that they find you a burden. i just hope as things go on, this kind of obligatory relationship that i, or rather, we once experience will not happen again. because if it were to happen like before, then i rather it never happen at all.

above all, now i understand why people say you can share and you can open up your life to others, but they might not neccessarily understand or empathise with you. because cliche as it might sound, only true friends stand by you, in both good times and bad. what a revelation D: i guess at times, i try to hard. but then again, how can i not when its my responsibility? and so its times like this when saturday's sermon becomes all the more applicable.

joy, something im looking and yearning for and which i know i must make the decision to be joyful in all circumstance. (:


was playing with my brother just now and i realised how little time i've spent with him and my family since 2008 started. it might sound dumb, but when i hugged and fought with him, he seemed to have grown taller. which is normal definitely. and i missed the days when i came home to play, fight and just watch tv tgt with him. i really should spend more time at home nowadays (: at least before he turns 13, when he will start to build up his own world because he's growing up.

on the other hand, as i was reflecting on alot of issues that was running through my mind today, i couldnt help but to remember how i would wish that i could take a peep of (secret) everyday, although it was rather unachievable ; how seeing (secret) among the crowd would have made my heart jumped a beat ; how one phone call or sms less made me uncomfortable ; how i wished that we had the same (secret) ; how i wish that i didnt (secret); how i put up a false front to look all right in front of (secret) when actually i am not.

but now, when most things seem to go the way i want them to, i feel lost, really lost. sometimes i try, while at others, i cant help but to retract back whatever i had set out to do. ohwell, i guess, ultimately, god loves me and he doesnt want me to fall into temptations that will draw me away from him, that will be beyond what i can bear (: its so true, even right now.


i hope (secret) becomes a thing of the past now. it will very soon be, with god's strength, grace and my decision to want to obey the right things at the right time :D


LONGEST GIRL SURVEY EVER
-don't be shy, fill it all out-

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
nope.

2. Have you kissed any one on your toplist
nah.

3. Are you happy with your looks?
yeah, perfectly. its my height thats a problem.

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Yeah!

5. Are you a girly girl?
kind of i suppose.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
my little brother (:

7. Small or large purses?
large.

8. Are you short?
yeah -.-

9. Do you like someone?
yup.

10. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
i will smack that person's butt back. lol.

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Of course!

12. Do you think you’re conceited?
thats not for me to judge isnt it?

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Nope.

14. Are you double jointed?
what is double jointed?

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Uhm, does an industrial park count? but that place was cool! :D

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
of course not.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
I dont think so.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
i cant exactly remember

19. How many guys will read this just because it says- Girl Confessions?
how will i know?! :)

[ ] I do wear make up.
[x] I have cried at a movie theater.
[ ] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[ ] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I like death/grind/black metal.
[ ] I like rap.
[ ] I like techno.
[x] I like country.
[x] I carry a purse.
[x] I’d be lost without my lappie and cell phone.
[x] I own a spice girls CD.
[x] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own a Boy Band CD.
[ ] I get bored watching football.
[ ] I’ve never been called a spoiledbrat.
[ ] Guys are confusing!
[x] I’ve been called a bad influence.
[x] My friends are the best.
[ ] I have a piercing other than myears.

Come on ladies, be truthful!

1. What color is your bra that your wearing?
I aint wearing one now.

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guy?
dark-haired thats for sure (:

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
YES.

4. Do you have a best friend?
yup! :D

5. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes, who hasnt?

6. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
yeahh.

7. Do you like your life?
its pretty good now, so why not?

8. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
not at the moment.

9. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
more of being pushed or pulled into the pool!

10. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
girls definitely.

11. How long have you had friendster?
i havent really checked friendster for quite some time, so im not sure.

12.Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
yeahh.

13. What are your biggest fears?
rejections straight in the face

14. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yup.

15. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
YES totally.

16. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater"?
nope, its all about second chances. haha.

17. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Of course!

18. Do you ever wish you were famous?
well, kind of.

19. Are you currently missing someone?
yeah. but thats for me to know, and for you to find out. :)

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i fake a smile so he wont see
remind me, never to fall into this trap again


it was hilarious in clm! hahahah.

should + can - want = is this just a job?

well, no (:
for now, its
SHOULD + CAN + WANT = ENJOY :D
and this is what i should enjoy doing.


i've never ever felt so convicted before! (:


the massagers at citispa suck! i should be feeling lighter and more comfortable. instead, i feel like i have a hundred blue blacks on my back. this is so wasteful. but thankfully, kat yihui and i signed up for packages at statice instead of citispa! (: i hope they are more professional. i have to go walking around sengkang tmr with bruises on my back ):


and taylor is very pretty.

Teardrops On My Guitar

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.





God knows what i need and when i need it.

REST (:




and i got it. now, its time to unleash everything i have for the next few days. its gg to be another hectic week, but with god's strength and grace, everything will be alright!


work, pioneer, work.
work, pioneer, work.
i guess at the end of the day, god does reward. just like today (:

at least the harvest today and this video brought a smile to my face.

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4362044
go watch the "is this toddler the fifth beatle?" video. sweet!